A typhoon named Fanapi made my weekend

As I type this, it's raining like Niagara Falls and I lay awake for two hours this morning listening to the wind howl around my building. We're in the middle of a very big typhoon that arrived on land at about 2 AM this morning. I have plenty of water, a flash light and food to last me through Monday, so I'm feeling very self-sufficient. I wish this typhoon could have happened on a week day, though. Church is canceled and that's a highlight of my week. It's been a big month for typhoons. Last week school was ended 30 minutes early because three typhoons started swirling around Taiwan, 1 in the north and 2 in the south. I suggested to Clinton that we go up on the roof of our apartment building to experience it. Those only merited the level of tropical storm, but this one is a level 2 or 3 typhoon. Three is as high as the scale goes. Two days previous it was so stiflingly hot and humid, a phenomenon that heralds typhoons. I guess it makes you happy to have the storm break. The air pressure felt to me like someone was playing on my spine like it was a xylophone. You feel as if you're being squeezed. I felt like I couldn't sit still, couldn't think and the school dogs were all acting strangely, too. Weather here is much more of an event than it is in Rexburg.

I'm a little worried for my scooter and I wish I'd thought to take my rain slicker out of the seat compartment so I could have it with me. No umbrella is going to last more than a few seconds in this wind. Clinton sent me a Doppler update on the storm and I said with surprise, "It looks like a hurricane!" Turns out hurricanes and typhoons are the same thing but hurricanes turn counter clockwise and happen in the Atlantic while typhoons are Pacific. Hurricanes are usually a lot meaner, too. I guess that's why Pacific means peaceful. I think everyone else in the world knew this but me.

I've been toiling over 7 syllabi for my 20 hours of class. So few of my classes use the same book. It would be easy if I taught out of one book, or even was able to repeat lessons in the same day, but I can't here. The scheduling has been absolutely insane these past two weeks with placement and getting the right books, the right student, the right teacher all into the same classroom. I don't know why it has been such a nightmare, except that maybe they have one little Asian lady, Yvonne, doing the work that several should be doing. I've spent hours this week planning things. If the typhoon lasts through Monday, I will be very grateful.

We do have a holiday coming up: The Moon Festival on the 22nd. In preparation everyone has been giving Clinton and I and everyone else the traditional gift of a moon cake. I knew from previous experience that oriental holiday food should be treated with caution. Because 'holiday' means 'traditional' and 'traditional' means 'ancient' and 'ancient' means before germs, salmonella and calories were invented. I remember experiencing food poisoning after New Year's in Japan. Sister Mortensen and I just lay in our futons groaning and waiting for the Resurrection to come. A Moon Cake is a strange pastry that weighs about 4 pounds each. Inside there is a duck egg yolk partially cooked while the egg white has been mysteriously disseminated through the cake as it cooked. The school gave us a gorgeous, gold, be-tasseled box of them. Clinton and I looked at each other when no one was around and groaned. Nothing says "Happy Harvest Moon!" like a gelatinous brick. They come in many flavors but just what those flavors are I couldn't tell you. The filling is some kind of super thickened, unidentifiable paste. I bravely ate one in front of the office people, worrying about the digestive repercussions all the while, and then gave the rest to the apartment security team. The Moon Festival means barbecue and fireworks and no school on Wednesday as well as a retelling of the legend of the rabbit in the moon, which is what Asian's see when they look at the moon. The moon is a big deal here where the school calendar and other auspicious events and holidays are according to the lunar calendar. The ward has planned a shindig at a nearby park and then Clinton's goign to teach a bunch of us some hip hop and I'm going to Dream Mall with some of the Huang sisters and the Young Women. As far as I can tell, no one really buys anything at Dream Mall, you just go to walk around and look.

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The line break symbolizes me taking a break to head up to the roof as I heard the wind escalating and screaming like a banshee outside. I met Clinton on the stairs. He had the same thought. We went out, half scared, half excited and had the wind blow us around. The sky is one great cloud and you can only see the tops of the trees being lashed and tanged in bits of cloud. The rain doesn't fall in a regular pattern from sky to ground but in irregular patches and sheets. Sometimes it feels like its' falling up into your face. We were only there a few moments. It was hard to see with all that water in your face. Then I came back and took my shower for today, just in case the water system does get knocked out, but I don't think that it will. The storm is bad, but on the ground floor it wasn't to the point of uprooting shrubbery or blowing debris. I fetched my rain gear from my scooter in front of the complex in case Clinton and I venture out to a ward member's house today.

I'm enjoying my students a lot lately. These past two weeks have been stressful, but when I am in class, it's easy to forget about myself. I don't know if I want to be a traditional teacher, but I can see myself doing something related. I railed a bit over my confusion, over being given no objectives for most of the classes and very little direction but I'm beginning to realize that this kind of situation is an opportunity. I am so free, so unsupervised, that I can do what I like in my classes. It's a time to experiment and figure things out, to develop my own way instead of teaching along the lines of a set program/curriculum. I'm really excited for my pronunciation class. I was given no book and no guidelines, but I took two classes on phonetics and speech and I was realizing all the things, the very authentic, pertinent things I could do. Add to that the fact that the members of the class are enthusiastic, good participators and fairly bright. The class dynamic really does make or break a teacher. So, we will do some theatre, some storytelling pieces, we will do scary stories for Halloween, poetry and talk about making the sounds and what rhymes with what. I may even introduce writing a rap and talk about the rhythm of English. I didn't realize until I was in Chiba and talked to Sister Isa one day (She studies Linguistics in the States) that English speakers speak in iambic pentameter. It's going to be a blast every Monday for 2 hours.

We have a new exchange student from Mapleton, UT: One American in a sea of 10,000 Asian students (We have other foreign students but they are Vietnamese, Japanese, Mongolian, etc.) Clint and I like to play Where's Waldo, with blonde-haired, blue-eyed Nathan at the opening assembly. The first day of school was pretty fun. They had some lion dancers in brilliant colors and drums and everybody out on the field to welcome in the new freshman. Chinese cultures are pretty good when it comes to color and noise and large parties. I took pictures. Then we listened to a really long speech in the sweltering sun. All the teachers had to stand in the front and I didn't understand a word. It was really militaristic, as most things are here. While the students were standing at attention one of them fainted on the front row. They just lifted him up and put him back in line. Then they all sat cross-legged on the grass. I sympathized with the girls in their skirts. It's events like these where I realize just how huge this high school is.

I've been having a real spiritually refreshing week. I've been doing some reflecting and after I lost my cellphone I worried so much about getting up in time for school. It's my only alarm clock and since it was Sunday, I couldn't go buy another. I asked the Lord to help me wake up and the past few mornings I felt like he wakeneth mine ear with plenty of time to get ready and time to think too. I wake up thinking about my country, thinking about family. I worry for the United States. I have been reading in Helaman and it is interesting how parallel our world is with those times. We have complications and divisions among the people. It is hard to know who is right and what should be done. It's a time of secret combinations. It got to the point that Nephi gave up the judgment seat, washed his hands of political finagling to go preach the word which ended up saving Nephite society because as he and Lehi converted the Lamanites, they did what Moronihah and his army could not do. The Lamanites returned the lands they had taken and came to convert the Nephites, their old enemies. Both became wealthy and prosperous through being industrious and open trade relations. I wonder if things will ever get to that point. I have been feeling more and more that I need to serve my country somehow in my future. What does a person do? Right now, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that one of the best things a person could do would be to have a family and raise their children in an environment of love. So many of society's problems started when people were young. Thanks again to everyone I know who has the courage to start a family. I'm sure it's such a lot of work. I know there must be sacrifice, but it has meant the world to me to have grown up the way I did. Whatever I end up doing, I'm going to be involved with youth and education and maybe in teaching English to non-native speakers.

I was thinking of the products of my having grown up the way I did. Justin, my brother-in-law (I hope I'm quoting you right) said that there are a couple of orientations to a person's thinking that is taught by parents. One is seeing the world as a bad and difficult place. The other sees the world as a generally good place. Both views seem to be correct, but I'm glad I was raised to see the world as an interesting, exciting place. My mother had done a long stretch of study abroad and served a mission in France. My father travels a lot for work and without knowing it, they taught my sisters and I to see the world as inviting and interesting. After the experiences I have had, I'm led to conclude that there are many wonderful people and hospitable places for a wanderer and a pilgrim on the earth. This has also prompted my other sisters to live far from home, to travel to distant places and to make friends with people of all different nationalities and experiences. My two younger sisters do not fear or feel uncomfortable with people who are different, with people who don't fit the norm. I admire them. I think when I was younger I was a lot more fearful.

The Huang family (not the Bishop's family, but the other family with the daughters who are in college and speak English and Japanese) have been good as gold. We comfortably sit and watch Taiwanese TV together to keep from feeling awkward about not talking. They are the ones who were so entertained when I climbed their fence a few weeks ago). As soon as I got back from Japan, they invited me over for dinner again and as usual sent me home with something to eat. (This time: a dried fruit called 'dragon eyes' which will make your nose bleed if you eat too many.)Mrs. Huang has shown a mother's heart and really taken me in. She asked how my parents could bear to send one of the children off to a distant country where they wouldn't know if she was safe or comfortable. I told them about my parents' belief in God and that I knew they prayed for me and trusted Him to watch over me. Michelle translated this to her. Many people here and in Japan see the world as a difficult and dangerous place. I'm glad I was shown by example not to live in fear but to live by faith. By the way, my parents have been wonderfully cool about things like typhoons, motorcycle accidents, not to mention my little sister Suzanne's escapades whiel she was studying a semester in Vishakhnaputnam, India. Many of my Japanese companions, knowing the haphazard, absent-minded way I live, are sure that I can't even tie my shoes by myself. One of them admitted to me recently that as she put me on a bus for Kumamoto, she was worried and thought, "Poweru Shimai na node daijoubu kana" (Because it's Sister Powell, is she going to be okay I wonder). I replied, "Ochitsuite! tenshitachi wa dokodemo irassharanai no?" (Calm down! Aren't there angels everywhere?) I told them all that I was living proof that angels look after you even when you are not a missionary.

I remember a fireside that was given for the youth on New Years a few years ago. There were several musical numbers and then one talk by Elder Holland. He told the youth that it was still a wonderful and exciting time to be alive, that there would be wonders to come in our lives. The world may seem like a frightening and wicked place, but the earth is still a miraculous and fascinating place, too.

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That line break represents the last four hours in which I received a text message from Yvonne that school is canceled tomorrow. Clinton and I donned our rain suits and went out splashing into the typhoon. Then we walked to the Huang family cram school where we invited in, played a game of monopoly, talked a lot and were fed. I came home to have Brother Chen, who served a mission in America and who owns a noodle shop in Fong Shan there with two beautiful cakes for the he-giraffe and I and best of all, they were lovely Western cream cheese cakes and not moon cakes! I love typhoons! Everybody needs a break sometimes. That's all for now. This next week I'll try to write a little more or a little better. I realized avter reading my last email that my writing needs work. I know about things like sentence variation, transitions and organization, not to mention spelling. I just need to edit.

Oh, President, as for Elders Yamaguchi and Ogawa, I asked about both of them while I was in Japan. Sister Kawano said they were genki and she sees them from time to time but I never ran into them. I did see Elder Kanemaru who died while I was a young missionary. I think he started his mission with President Eyring. He is a great member of his ward and a fun guy.

That's all I've got for now.

Time to report on my pilgrimage to Japan

Life has become so busy lately. And to think I pictured myself in lonely exile, taking up hobby after hobby and pining! There are too many friendships to maintain, too many church responsibilities, too much to get done at school and plenty to explore here. My sleeping problem has disappeared for the past 3 weeks, a product of happy busyness. It's good to be me. There is plenty to report on for this week with school beginning and other developments, but I'll let the people who want to know those details find me on Skype. It's been a few weeks since I've talked with my dear ones face to face or screen to screen in real time. Here are the results of the JAPLAN:

I woke only 30 minutes before I needed to be at the airport on Friday morning two weeks ago. We had been up late with young women/young men stuff for the Youth Conference, and then I had to finish doing all those last minute things that take so long. I grabbed up my backpack and small suitcase and raced downstairs to have the security guard in the lobby call a cab for me. The cab driver arrived and we flapped out arms, and I made take-off sound effects and he got me to the airport, a thirty minute drive, in ten minutes. I pray you may never encounter a Taiwanese taxi driver on the road, but I was grateful to be a passenger. It cost me $6. That's how cheap taxis are here. I got on board my plane and promptly fell asleep but woke in time to fly see Fukuoka before we landed. Changing money and getting to my hostel took far longer than I thought it would. I had a moment when I held the money in my hand and I realized how long it had been. My first thought was, "Oh, is this what it looked like?" At last, the hostel lent me a bicycle and I went spinning around the city, exploring a few places like the first Zen temple in Japan and an Asian art museum (I don't recommend it). I was supposed to meet Sister Eguchi that night at the station, but I forgot that Japan is an hour later than Taiwan and kept the poor thing waiting for an hour. We finally met up and went to eat Hiroshima-style okonomiyaki which was delicious. Taiwanese food really isn't as good as Japanese food. Plus it had the spice of familiarity. I talked and talked to Sister Eguchi. Throughout my trip I was delighted by how much Japanese came back to me. I think I was even better than I was as a missionary. Words for things I hadn't used or thought of seemed to be just lying in the street for me to pick up again.

Sister Eguchi had Girl's Camp the following day, and so this was the only time we could meet up. It was wonderful to see her, and all my companions so peaceful, so faithful and steady. The night before I left I read again about Ammon and Alma and the things they said at the end of their long missions. I read of them once again meeting up by chance. It was funny to sit next to my companions again on buses and trains. That was probably the most nostalgic part of being there. But it was good and not sad or uncomfortable. It's funny the closeness that happened in just 3 or four months. It's a closeness that 2 years later was easy to regain. It was pleasant to talk about the 'now' and not only the 'then'.

The next day I was supposed to meet Sister Kawano and Sister Akaike near the bus stop to the Fukuoka temple. The day before, Sister Kawano's grandmother passed away and so she called in some friends and arranged my travel to Miyazaki and my night's lodging with the network of ward members and returned missionaries in her cell phone. I was well taken care of. I met Sister Akaike at the Fukuoka temple, but ran out of time to do a session because I thought I had changed the time on my cell pohone and hadn't. She is exactly the way I remember her and we talked for two hours. There is a certain sadness in the sisters of my mission about finding an eternal companion. They don't have a lot of options for dating. She also has been job searching for months with no luck. She struggles, but it leaves her with lots of time to go to the temple. She is strong and we talked about the past and the present with no regrets.

The Miyazaki Branch was doing temple work that day, and they agreed to take me home on their bus. I stayed with Sister Nishida and her son. Sister Nishida has been a single mom for years and years. She found the gospel and wanted it for her son. Shogo, is an excellent young man. He is headed to BYU-Hawaii as I type this. He grew up with the Kawano family and is a wonderful priesthood holder in his home. His English is also excellent. I sat talking to him, so impressed. I love teenagers. I think I'm in the right profession. I was so comfortable and taken care of in their home. Sister Nishida has a great interest in Brigham Young and I went to bed with the book his daughter Clara wrote about life in his family. ( I was especially interested in what was written about all the second language speakers who came to the valley and how Clara said they learned English. This multiculturalism isn't a first in the church and learning language has always been a part of the church in this dispensation. Church education system and Kim B. Clark are doing some very interesting things lately with learning and that's intriguing, too) We watched Japanese TV including a show where the contestants were blindfolded and they had to memorize something and then were asked questions about it while a man dressed like a monk walked solemnly up and down with a stick to beat them with it if they were wrong. Some people's humor...

I attended church with the Nishidas and the quirky Miyazaki branch and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is a little sad there are so few young men and young women and few single adults. The ward seemed to be mostly old men and women. However, I'll have you know that these older saints were extremely genki, outgoing and friendly. The lesson for Sunday school was on Preach my Gospel chapter 9--Finding People to Teach. I grinned a lot. It was one of the most nostalgic moments of the trip. It was so nice to be able to participate, too, with no translator. The Japanese members have seen that the JMTC has been disbanded. It seems the numbers of Japanese missionaries couldn't justify it. They worry that there are fewer missionaries. "It's up to us to make sure the church grows in Japan!" the teacher repeated a few times. I think we have active members and inactive members in this church but some members are more active than others. I hope one day to be as genki as these old men who were the priesthood of this little branch.

Sister Kawano arrived that evening with bamboo cut from near her grandmother's home. We used it to build a kind of trough for a river which sprang from the kitchen sink in the church through a hose through a window. Sister Kawano dropped somen noodles into the top and they flowed down this river where I and several of her friends waited to catch them with chopsticks rough hewn for that purpose. Food has never been so fun. She took me home that night to her tiny house. It's a happy place. The Kawanos are a neat family. They don't come any better. We ate natto in the morning and I attended her seminary class. I napped for an hour while she did laundry and then we went to eat udon with her friends, did Karaoke, ate takoyaki (fried octopus balls covered in barbecue sauce, seaweed flakes and mayonnaise—Yum!) and bought fireworks that would have been illegal in the States. We shot them off down near the river and danced around them like young Comanches. We went that evening to pick up the rest of the family at Miyazaki Airport and had an excellent time. The Kawanos are the shortest and funniest family I have ever met. They were awfully kind to me and it was nice we had already met on Skype. Her mom is the cutest woman. She ran alongside the car as Sister Kawano drove me to the bus station.

was nervous to see. She affected me that way even after I transferred to a new companion. She's just so capable and direct in her criticism, but it's something I like about her. After I swallowed a few dozen pieces of humble pie, I grew to trust that. We arranged to meet at the bus stop in Kumamoto. I searched the crowd until I found her face. I grinned and hugged her awkwardly, feeling like a bean and ten years younger than her again. She hasn't changed much and she is as lovely as ever. She always did look like a Japanese china doll. We got in her car (black--I could have predicted that) and headed for food and then Mount Aso, but not before she lost me for 30 minutes. She laughed though. All the Japanese sisters had sent the message down the wire: "Sister Powell is still a genius for forgetting things and a little lost one." All of them laughed. I think I have been a refining force for their senses of humor. I told Sister Matsumoto that I had tearfully prayed countless times both on the mission and off to have this weakness made into a strength. My conclusion was that it isn't God's will. Mitsuyo said of course it isn't. We are necessarily weak. The character for human (人) is not a pair of legs, according to her, but two people leaning on each other.

Mount Aso is an active volcano. It was quite beautiful driving up there and Mitsuyo was able to prove to me that there are cows in Japan. As we came back I said it would be cool to see a monkey. Just then she saw a monkey show on the side of the road and we pulled off and fed the monkeys, then raced for Kumamoto Castle before it closed. She always was the best companion to sight-see with. She knows a lot about Japanese culture. Many of my companions who were members of the church since they were young just shrugged their shoulders when we went to temples or museums. That night Mitsuyo put me up in a ryoukan in her home town Kurume, a Japanese style hotel with a hot spring, a robe and the best night sleep I think I have had since I was an infant. I'm fully converted to the Japanese bath experience. We ate yakiniku and she insisted I try raw horsemeat, which was excellent. The next morning she drove me to the airport after we stopped at the second largest statue in Japan. She had work that day in Fukuoka as a children's English teacher. We spent lots of time driving together and talked about so much--her time in Australia, her family and how things are. She is difficult to draw out, but if you are patient and listen long enough, you'll get a few gems from her. It was good. I don't know what else to say. At the airport I stood in front of her awkwardly and said what I felt: "We saw many wonderful things. Thank you. But the most wonderful was seeing you, shimai. Please don't become less active." To which she responded with a terse, "Hai." I love her. I hope she understands that to me, she is Japan.

I flew to Tokyo and raced from Narita to Kichijouji in time to catch an old convert, the first I ever taught and saw baptized who was visiting her family. Naomi was still lovely. She is married and has a baby and lives in Nagano. Soon after her baptism she became inactive, but the member who jointed with her, Sister Saito and her family and Sister Mitsugi have been faithful friends to her through many difficult times. Sister Saito met with Naomi and I at a restaurant on Sun Road and Naomi talked and talked. This was the saddest part of the trip. She was raised in a home where money was the highest priority. Even an unhappy marriage was acceptable if it meant you had money. Naomi began to get older and worry about how she would live. How could she live without the luxuries she was used to? Her self-worth and status would suffer. Her father is a dentist and so they found some single young men doctors and arranged meetings with Naomi. Naomi chose one and was married. Her marriage seems extremely difficult. Money still is a driving factor in her life and though she loves her son, it is clear that this life is a difficult one for her. She said she wouldn't complain, she would make the most of it but she laments that her husband and she don't have the same sense of humor, the same appreciation of things. It was a marriage of convenience. This is why Japan makes me sad: it's a place full of exhausted, frightened people. So many decisions are made out of fear. Though life is orderly and at a high standard of living, people aren't as happy as they ought to be. It was still good to see Naomi. As she drove off inot the night, I discovered that I had left my directions for the hostel I would be staying at in another place and Sister Saito, went with me to find it, bless her. We talked a lot on the train and reminisced about the other times she had saved me and my companion. I hope I'm now a member like her: Still on fire for missionary work, but performing other roles. She helped me understand Naomi's situation as we rode the train.

It was good to see Kichijouji, too. Sister Halliday told me that "kyun" is the sound of one's heart tightening in Japanese. My heart 'kyun'-ed here several times especially as I watched the lanky American bean with her pocket-sized Japanese trainer glide out of the parking lot at 8:30. It almost hurt to remember how much I hurt here and how much I learned. Obon was the week after I left Japan but the streets were full of ghosts. Interestingly, the streets alone were not enough to bring on the nostalgic feelings. It happened only as I pictured another hand holding the handles on the train next to mine and a similar nametag--the faces, the helmet hair, the feelings of companionship. My setting apart blessing mentioned my companions a lot and about how I would have the Lord's help in navigating that unnatural relationship. I remember noting at the time how suspiciously absent was any reference to my investigators in that blessing, but it was all for the best. There were other strong feelings as I walked those old stations and streets--As a missionary I think I believed that I was different and had a special aura, like everyone said, but I really didn't know it. I knew it now. I was different but not for better or worse. My calling and my role was different and I felt different being there. It would have been wrong for me to be a full-time missionary there again.

The next morning I awoke and headed out to the Tokyo temple. As I got on the morning subway I had another nostalgic experience: a smush train. For about 5 minutes I grinned as I remembered smush trains of the past and short Sister Matusmoto exclaiming, "My feet aren't touching!" in the midst of the press. On such a train you experience being a part of the human race in a strange and new way. It's fairly unpleasant, though. I remembered again why anyone in their right mind hates living in Tokyo.

The temple was a sweet experience. A timeless experience. The celestial room emptied quickly and I sat there gazing at the picture of the Savior and reading D&C 4 in Japanese. Those are cryptic verses but now, in between the lines, I filled in with knowledge I gained as a missionary. I knew that "thrust in your sickle with your might" spoke about their being a learning curve, about discouragement, about time and patience and human relationships. I knew about asking, seeking and receiving. Some scriptures are brief and simple so that we will seek for personal revelation for solutions to our specific circumstances. I was filled with joy and quickly my thoughts moved from the past to the future. Mine seemed especially bright that morning. I had a powerful spiritual experience alone in the temple. I felt like I saw a future filled with church service, with living with courage and trusting that if I committed my life to the Lord, that my adventures would be great. I felt so sure of my lineage continuing, of my filling the role of wife and mother and magnifying it. I knelt there and said a prayer of gratitude for my life. I have often felt that I was so blessed it was almost embarrassing when I knew other people's trials. I don't know why I get to be so blessed except that I feel it is connected to choices my ancestors and parents made and that I was being freed up to serve.

I found myself a stifling phone booth and made some phone calls. I was able to visit Serena Berardy, a woman who was baptized in Shibuya just before I went home. She was from Shanghai, who spoke English as her second language. I thought of her often as I've learned here in Taiwan, a little closer to her home culture. It was wonderful to visit with her again. She has a son and a happy family. She is active in the church and the generous, funny woman I remembered. The two converts that I visited in Shibuya did most of the talking which was nice, now, not to do the telling, but to just listen and enjoy them, hear about their thoughts on the gospel, marriage, life. I walked around Shibuya station some and reminisced about a 21-year old kid from Idaho who thought she had seen big cities like Chicago, London and Paris, but who hadn't seen anything yet. I couldn't believe there were that many Japanese people in the world, much less living so closely and tidily stacked on top of each other. Being in Tokyo the megopolis is like landing on another planet. Pictures don't do it justice.

That night I met Sister Tamura in Asakusa where she works in a sushi shop. We went to eat tempura and took pictures. It came out that both of us were planning to be in Yamanashi prefecture on Saturday so we decided to go together. She is an impressive sister. She was converted in Hokkaido, the only member in her family. Her family and she are fairly distant. She doesn't know anything about how they are doing. The tiny branch in her hometown saw her off on her mission and she was a hardworking and wonderful sister. She's a lot of fun too. Conversation never lagged and we took a long long walk to see the new Tokyo Skytree and other things. That night I had to make an emergency hostel change at 2 AM and it was kind of exhausting.

The next morning I met Reiko Tokunaga, a convert from Shibuya and a kinjin (golden person) if there ever was one. She took to the Book of Mormon, the commandments, etc., so easily. I asked her about life since then and was pleased to find she is an active member of the Relief Society presidency, and a faithful member of the church. She sat by me while I was sick (a combination of heat, and trying to do too much in ten days) and we walked around the touristy shops and sights of old town Tokyo and even took a jinrikusha (a wheeled cart pulled by a genki young fella from the old days). We ate strange and wonderful things and took a boat down the Sumida River past all the bridges of the Koiwa area. It's funny how everyone felt like they needed to take me through the whole tourist gamut and feed me when a corn dog from Family Mart, a good conversation and a walk around an old church would have delighted me equally as much. That night Reiko Shimai expressed something I found interesting. She hesitantly said that though she loved the gospel and the church and the kind people in the ward, she sometimes felt smothered. She missed spending time with her roommates and friends. All her time was spent at institute, stake-sponsored classes to become better gospel teachers, SA activities where the average age was 20 years younger than hers, and Saturdays were spent in hours of exhaustive Relief Society planning. For many members of the church, like me for example, the church is our life, our social sphere, everything. When you ask these members for referrals they are genuinely puzzled. All their friends are members. Their recreation revolves around members. Reiko said that she might be able to introduce the gospel to her housemates if she could ever spend some time with them. I think we need to be careful. I am happy to be involved with church activities all the time here in Taiwan, but I really value opportunities to meet different kinds of people. I can understand her frustration and the guilt she feels. I think if she doesn't go to the SA activities; her soul will still be sound. I hope I didn't give her a faulty opinion.

Saturday morning Sister Tamura and I headed for Kofu. We looked at old mission pictures and President, she has two of the best pictures of you that I have ever seen. I fell asleep on the train ride out there (I always did as a missionary too.) It was fun to remember how it was like entering a different world. Sister Halliday said she remembered gazing out the window when she transferred to Kofu and saying she wasn't sure if she had just left Japan or just entered it. I had planned on climbing Mount Fuji, thinking this was an important pilgrimage but I was so tired and it would have meant going alone and in all honesty, this trip, though wonderful, made me realize how rough it can be to travel alone. I rather hope this is the last trip I make abroad by myself. Tamura Shimai and I were led around by a Kofu ward member, Brother Sugiyama, who was a referral from Brother Ito and was taught and baptized by Elders LeSeuer and Iida and is as solid a young single kyoudai as you could ask for. I hope he finds one of the wonderful single young women of Japan, soon. We went to Shosenkyou, a waterfall presided over by a mountain spirit named Fukusennin, an owl-like creature with a long beard. We could see Fuji and a whole vista of mountains and so I had my mountain fix after all. Fuji was clouded over, anyway, and wouldn't have been a great view.

My heart 'kyun'-ed in Kofu a few times, too. I don't care what anyone says about Kofu. I. Loved. It. There. On my trip Kofu performed the same service it had for me as a missionary--when I went there I was discouraged, exhausted and unsure of whether I was worth very much as a missionary. I was healed and laughed a lot there. I love quirky personalities and people who let me see into their lives. Kofu members are surprisingly uninhibited.

That night I was picked up by the Agrens, a couple who I loved when I was there. They exclaimed, "Let's dendo!" and we went to visit some less-actives who had known me as a missionary. Sister Agren is Japanese and her husband is Brazilian. (One of the wonderful things about Kofu is that it is liberally sprinkled with Brazilians). They own their own business and all their children have moved away, so they told me they would chauffer me about and put me up. I went to church in Kofu and didn't think I would ever have enough. I sat next to Hosaka Shimai who was one of my best friends in Japan. They were wonderful to me and threw me a party that Sunday after church. This was exactly how I wanted to spend my last day in Japan. We sat around, some of my very favorite ward members and talked for 6 hours. Not much about the past but a lot about the present and the future which was right and good. We talked about families and Japanese, Taiwanese and American people. They teased me until I could hardly stand it. It was good to not be a missionary. If you had told me three years ago when I arrived in Kichijouji that one day I would thoroughly enjoy myself sitting around and talking to people in Japanese for 6 hours, I never would have believed it. The Lord gave me a whole new set of people to love who otherwise would have been as remote as Venus. This is a work of gathering.

Monday the Agren's took me to Kofu station to catch a bus to catch my plane. It was an exhausting itinerary. I was ready to go home and it surprised me how much Taiwan felt like home. I had been longing for some kind of address when I decided to move to Taiwan and a place to belong to and I guess I found it. On the plane home I voluntarily chose a Chinese movie about Confucius to watch staring Chow Yun Fat. It was only slightly cheesy. Apparently Master Kong and his famous disciples lived like Robin Hood and his merry men, a rollicking band of sages in exile, not eating the king's meet but quoting proverbs at each other and corrupt government officials and saving China from unethical behavior. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Now I'm back and there is still so much to write about and think about. School is underway in a big way, the young women get more and more interesting and I Iearn more about myself and other people. Cheers for now.

Demi: How great I live in Taiwan!

I believe to live in Taiwan is a wonderful thing. Maybe Taiwan is smaller than other countries, but we don't have to drive two or three hours to buy something we want like clothes, shoes, food or fruits. We have some department stores around us. Seven-eleven, OK, Hi-life, Family Mart, these convenient stores are very common in Taiwan. They are very convenient to us to buy cookies, drinks and ice cream. And many foods in Taiwan are very delicious and special. Night market is an important place to us. When we have free time at night, we want to solve our dinner, buy some fashionable thing and clothes or buy some strange things, we can go to night market. There is an interesting place.

Anny: I think Taiwan is a good place

I think some Taiwanese people are very cordial and affable. For example they will be very cordial to greet and they will show great concern for others and make me feel, too. Music very warm feel resentful very much. I think a lot of places have delicious food in Taiwan. For example, in the night market have foul hotpot, pearl milk tea, very beautiful cake and have a lot of food. I think there are oviously four seasons in Taiwan. For example the sun let people it stands to be even can have been because hot too until summer. Winter will have been chilling that sometimes have breathe out air use of rcomes outing have with fog.

Ruby: I think my mother is great

In my family, my mother is so nice. She is business woman, so she is very busy, but she has to clean the house, doing the laundry and cooks the dinner. In fact, she is a funny mother. She can play basketball with me. I am a loser. She is winner. Sometimes she has going to shopping. She has buy me clothes and watches. My mother is best mother in the world. She like my friend. She like my older sister. I often mistake something. My mother not angry mother. I very love you. I love my family.

Emily: I like you!

God give us a chance to meet. I felt your class was interesting. When I saw you, I felt you were a very beautiful and very special. Maybe because you are a foreigner. But I was to discover you are so nice when we were got together. I like your blue eyes and your cute sound. I like your hair color and your frisure. I like your smile. Happy to meet you, Erica! Finally, you are a good teacher, I like you class way. So vigorous and so fun. I hope school open, you still is our teacher.

Lily: Joyfully is very important

I think joyfully is important because joyfully may bring different the idea, has joyful or sad. Everyone is the hope may be joyful. Thus money is unable to buy joyfully. Joyfully can do many things. Perhaps it may affect own feeling and the idea. Joyful is be from the friend or the family member or the life. I think my joyful is come from friends of mine, because we can chat about own matter and go out together. Regardless of joyful or sad, they are going to all be beside me. Because I have them therefore my life is the fill interesting, if lost them me not to know that I able to do what, but I knew that I must treasure now, because has many people not to have this feeling. Although joyfully speaking of very many people is not very important, the joyful is very important for me.

Amy: I love winter more than summer

Because Taiwan lies in a pair of tropical zones. So it is very warm. Especially during the summer. The sun is not only warm, but also hot to describe it. It is a serious problem that the earth is getting warmer and warmer. The sun is very big in summer, even bask injure. I don't like to sweat a lot because it makes my body wet and sticky. I like winter in Taiwan. At that time the sun is genial.

Shawn: I think ocean is beautiful

As to me, the ocean is vast and secret. My life can't be without sea. When my mood is under the weather, I always go to the seaside and make my mood quiet. Listen to the wave's voice and look at the sea make me comfortable and my soul just like take a bath. Someone says "the sea color makes us disconsolate," but I don't think so. Sky and sea color is blue, too. Why doesn't someone says, "the sky color is melancholy." Blue give me a pure and fresh, nice and cool. Somebody says sea is dangerous and without remorse, and so does fire. But I think only careful to be careful and safe to pay attention to oneselves. It is dangerous to keep away from you. Since I am small, the ocean give me a lot of dream. I have a impossible dream. I wish one day in the future I can live in the Pacific Ocean.

Little 8: I like music very much

I like music very much. I can play piano and blow trumpet. I always play piano all day. Sometimes I will perform in Aii or look perform from band. It is a part in my life. My mother like it too. She supports me very much. I can touch some other musical instruments and try it nature. I'm filled with all interest to every sort of musical instrument. I think music can give people strength, make people happy. When you are sad, unhappy, angry, listening to music will good to get up. Music can give people free. In world of music I am free. It lets me find myself again. Music can become my support for a long time to come.

Angel: Riding a bike is wonderful in my life.

Personally , I think riding my bike can make relax . Because when I have a bad mood I will ride my bike to the park near my house my hose or ride to my elementary school. An after riding my bike I will feel good! Then I go home to take a wonderful shower. Wow—it is a great life. And I think riding my bike is very convenient to go anywhere and it is environmental protection. And you can ride the bike through a narrow path. But cars can't do that. So I think riding a bike is convenient.

Riding a bike is one of sport, so I think you can lose weight or keep a healthy body by riding a bike. And I think riding a bike is the only good way to lose weight, because you can ride the bike everywhere and you can't run anywhere, can you? but I think a few people will say "Yes, I can. " As a result riding a bike is wonderful in my life.

Kobe: Shadow is a good student

Shadow is a good student. She always be seriously in her study. She often ask teacher question. She is smart and kind. She teach other classmate. She always help teacher. Everyone in class likes her because she love to help. So if I have any problem, she always help me. Sometime she is funny, so she can make our class happy and also make me smile. She is easy to get along with. Everybody likes to get along with her. I think she is smart because when she is doing something she always use her knowledge, but sometime she is shy. So, she is very cute and very beautiful and very pretty. She also help her mother doing housework at home. I think her parents must think she is really a treasure daughter.

Shadow: My Opinion Essay

I believe the world is wonderful. There are many nice people and kind teachers. The weather is very warm. The world is peaceful. It is a fact that the world has many fights, but I really believe is will be wonderful. This is because the world has many pretty things, not only bad things. We need to create more interesting things for this world. It will be a surprise and nice.

What's more, this world is really best for us. Clean water, clear sky, and shining sun. There are many polite people because this world is really wonderful!

The world lets me feel better. All people love the world. It is filled with laughter world. I forever believe the world's perfect and wonderful.

Adam: Dogs are more useful than cats

I think dogs are better than cats because dogs are cuter than cats. It would make more people to love them. First, dogs could stay home and protect the house when nobody is at home. Second dogs are more useful than cats because dogs are more active than cats. Cat's always sleeps and very lazy. Although they like to clean themselves, but if they lick too much fur, they could cough up a hairball and it looks so dirty. Third, I think cats are less useful than dogs because cats would be scary in the dark. Their eyes look very evil.

I have 27 dogs and 2 cats at home. I love them very much. It doesn't matter if I said dogs are better than cats, those two animal are still very cute. This is my opinion. I hope you agree with it and I hope you like it.

Tina: Country Is So Much Better To Live Than City

Even nowadays, many people like to live in big city than in the countries. But is the city really good for us to live?

In the city, people are always busy with their work. It makes them tired and they have lots of stress. However, they can't easily go to nature(outside) like climbing or camping because they still have to work tomorrow and after tomorrow and day by day. So, they invented some things for them to relax. For example, TV, computer, cell phone, night club, etc. They think those things can make them not think or care about their work and their stress could go away from their mind for several hours. But in fact, that's sick!

To my mind, all you need is to buy a house in the country. After going home, you can tack a bath(or shower). Then totally enjoy in the quiet night time! You may think I'm boring, but that the truth. If people from 100 years ago could do that, so can you! Personally, I think if you have enough money for you to eat, everything doesn't matter. Without food, you just need a good book, you r lover and friends. And nothing you can beg for! Country is somewhere you can really feel relax and feel calm.

Plus, city is full of dangers, car accident, missing children, bank robbers, etc. I'm not saying that there are not dangers in the country, but those worries are also a kind of your pressure, aren't they?

Life in city is definitely easier and much more convenient, but I believe it is just another kind of hurt. It hurts your mind! So if you have already saved a multitude of money. Start building your own Green Living House in countryside.

Peggy: I think living in Taiwan is so happiness

I have mother, father, an old brother, a young brother. We live in Kaohsiung. A few days ago, I went out for a walk with my family. We went to Hualien. I looked ocean, mountain, flowers, animals, go to milk farm. We drank fresh milk, at milk cake and milk ice cream. I looked at cows. At night, we were went to steep the hot spring. Steeping the hot spring is so comfortable. My mom, aunt, cousin and me were steeped the hot spring to steep until eleven thirty. The hot spring water is natural, so I very like. Although Taiwan is so hot, I am ok. Taiwan's scenery is beautiful, the food is delicious and have many butterflies. I think living in Taiwan is so happiness.

Mico: Swimming

I think swimming is a good sport. Because I'm good at swimming in school when I was 13 years old, I once participated in the swimming contest and did well. Everyday exercise makes you become thin, too. It is a healthy sport to swim. My father wakes up and swims every morning at five o'clock. HE thinks swimming is the healthiest sport and the best too. A lot of people like swimming too. Swimming can make vital capacity better, but smoking is not very good to swim. Swimming player state is very good. I am also a swimming player. I got third of Kaohsiung County Transport. My younger brother is the tallest one in my family because of swimming. Swimming is a sport that can relieve summer heat. As long as people can swim well you won't fear drowning. So, I think swimming is a good sport and I love to swim.

Chi: Korean group is my favorite

The last Korea serial begin to popular. Everyday I'll see something about Korea. Now, I want to go to Korea, but I don't have enough of money. So, it is what I should do now to save money. I have collected some Korean things. It's my hobby. I like_____very much. He is important in my life. He sings a song is pleasant to hear. He is so cute and handsome. His eyes can discharge. Another one I like Super Junior. They have ten people in group. Everyone have different glamour. The dancing has a lot of kinds of styles and son is very moving, too. Finally I like their humor because it can laugh a hearty laugh. Smiling is very charming. I want to see their concert if there is an opportunity.

Rita: Reading novels in my free time is a good chance

I feel very strongly that reading novels in my free time is a good choice. There are 24 hours in a day, except the time to eat, sleep and study. We still have many times, but we don't know how to kill! Therefore reading novels is really a good choice. There are many different kinds of novels we can choose like love stories, scary, adventure, etc. We can learn a lot from reading. Taking all things into consideration, reading novels is very good things.

Lisa: I feel rabbits are my best friends

Rabbits are my favorite animals. When I was a child, I saw the rabbit was so cute. Now I always like rabbit. I want to buy a rabbit but my mother isn't buy rabbit for me. I was so sad. Because my mother isn't let me and my younger brother feed pet. What if I have a rabbit, I can take care of it carefully and play with it. When I was sad, I just see the rabbit my heart is funny. Rabbit is really my best friend. Because it can hark my feelings. Although it can't speak, I can try to understand it. So rabbit is my favorite animal. Rabbit is a kind pet.

Cena: Riding horses

I think ride horse is good exercise. How to say? Ride horse is whole body sport. To heaving people used for panting for pieces of very good motioning. Let by oneself closing disease persons open one's mouth and speak.

I like ride horse. I love ride horse in my life. In fact, my dream is I want to join ride the team alertly. I love horse because they are so beautiful. My dad want me to take part in the match but my coach say I not ready. My dad have crazy dream. He want we can raise a horse. I think we can, but not now. Maybe? Do you know how much a horse? Import horse start at more than one million dollars. If the horse with special—purpose match. It is not merely one million dollars. I have seen that the most expensive match horse is three million dollars. This is that I am most expensive to see.

Melody: English is difficult

I thought English was easy before. So I decided to enter English class. But I found English is harder and harder, it's not my idea at that time. I wanted to give up English forever, though English was my favorite then. I wanted to find other ways to help my English. I tried many ways, but it doesn't help anything. So I started to hate English. I didn't want to learn English well. Still, I found religion by Englsih. I started to love English and decided to elarn it well. And I love English very much now.

Ben: Traveling at Penghu

I like to take a trip to Penghu because Penghu is very beautiful. I went there with my mother, sister, cousin , and aunt two years ago. There are many natural scenes, so don't forget to bring your camera or you will miss all these amazing things. By the way, there are also many historical interests like the Four-eyed well and Penghu Lord Ma Temple. Don't forget to have a mountain climbing if you see the same thing but in the different place, you will know a lot of things are more beautiful. Oh—the seafood. I fyou want to buy the most fresh seafood. You have to go to the fish market very early in the morning. And remember to go to the beach. There are many things you can play in the water—surfing, banana boat. So I like traveling in Penghu. I wish you can go there someday.

Ken: Taiwan is the best place to live

Taiwan is famous for many things. These include its tall and beautiful mountains, its rich local culture, and its hard-working people. Another thing Taiwan is famous for is its butterflies.

Taiwan has about 400 species of butterflies. This is a large number for a small island. Among the many beautiful butterflies in Taiwan are the milkweed butterflies. They are also special because they spend the winter in Taiwan and the summer in Japan. Many people go to Maolin in Kaohsiung county in southern Taiwan in the winter to see these countless beautiful butterflies, so Taiwan is the best place to live.

Sandy: Playing music is better than studying/Reading some books is better than watching TV

Personally, I think music can let me relax and have no pressure. I f you feel sad or helpless you can plan the piano or listen to music. That helps me to forget a lot of things. It's fact that music can recuperate your hurt heart. Sometimes I study a long time. I will relax and play the piano. That helps me a lot. Afterward I am so happy and I can study again.

Reading some books is better than watching TV. I believe that because my teacher told me. J Knowledge is from reading a lot of books and don't watch TV shows often. Television will make divergence. It is not healthy for body and your eyes will get myopia. If you want to watch TV a long time, you just have to finish your homework and housework. You can watch a long time but I think everyone not very much. Also lazy. Every person is often lazy in their work.

Fiki: Weekend is a happy time

I think weekend is a happy time. We can watch TV and listen music, relax myself. It's can let me feel convenient. Don't like many people say go shopping or go to a trip is happy weekend. Go shopping or go to a trip is cost our more money and we have to spend more time to get arrive. But stay at home you don't worry about that. I usually surf the internet and read book. In my opinion it is a happy time. Sometimes my family go to the special restaurant. We like to eat steak and spaghetti. I think sometimes eat out can keep our relationship. As a matter of fact, weekend is a relax time. I don't do many things.

Thoughts on Teaching: AGENCY

AGENCY

I was VERY comforted as missionary to have Preach My Gospel tell me that it wasn't my responsibility to change people. That I didn't have to answer all their questions, resolve all of their concerns. I was to invite them to act and create an environment in which the Spirit could testify to them. Creating an environment. That's what a teacher does and in my opinion it is more art than science. One girl at Sunset Ridge Middle School quoted something to me. She said, "A good teacher is someone who knows 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink,' but leads the horse their anyway. Khalil Gibran wrote that a teacher, "if he is indeed wise, does not bid you enter the house of wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind." That's why when Nephi wanted to know the meaning of the dream his father saw, the Spirit/angel doesn't just tell him but takes him into the dream and just says 'Look!" He asks if Nephi understands what he sees and Nephi feels the Spirit talk to his spirit and realizes he knows what the tree, the virgin, the rod, are. If he doesn't know then the Spirit tells him. In Japanese the word for "teach" is the same as the word for "tell" and thus you can "teach" someone your phone number. I think they've got it wrong or only partially right. Teaching is not just telling.

I find that the best thing I can do in my classroom is assure my students they have the use of their agency. I mean, they always do have their agency, but it's good to ask them to use it, to act. Speaking of creating a climate, I would throw the 40 desks crammed into my tiny classrooms out the window, if I could. Or at least move them to the side. I was temporarily brilliant and asked my students what they wanted to do next semester. Many of my students said they like group work and role playing where they get to write the dialogue in English and perform it. They are creative and funny (Interesting side note: American students act like you've decided to give them a root canal if you tell them they have to work in groups. Even then they divide the work up so that they have to interact and cooperate as little as possible,) My textbooks said that one of the main factors in motivation for learning is having choices. Go figure.

I've also seen some horrible discipline cases handled masterfully by my cooperating teacher who gave a little terrorist a leadership responsibility. Suddenly, the student was amazingly responsive and diligent in helping their classmates--as long as they were the boss. Also, rather than lecturing or telling a student what they must do., it is far more effective to tell someone, calmly and with no resentment, the natural consequences and give them options as in "Bella, if you guys can't get this done, I'm going to have to move you. I've told you twice. If it's three times you are going over there." This way, it's not personal (Most misbehaving in high school isn't meant to be personal to the teacher and when the teacher takes it that way, it can be really puzzling and weird for a student) and it tells them they are agents but operating under consequences. That's why God, didn't just tell us the things we needed to know, but created a planet, a climate for us to figure it out on. Agency can be a terrible burden though. Sometimes it's easier to be told what to do. And as the teacher, you have to take the leap of faith that every person can learn. They are pre-equipped to figure things out. It's not your job to fix them, only to "lead them to the threshold of their own mind."

Thoughts on teaching: CONFIDENCE

As the students prepared for their listening/speaking final, I was trying to help them with each part of the rubric. One of the areas they were being judged on is 'confidence.' They know, and I know that this is a major pitfall for Asian students. I have various theories for why that is. None of them based on much, but I DO want to know where does confidence come from. I've been thinking about this since I was in their position. In high school, it was the thing I wanted more than anything else. Many say that it's positive reinforcement (that's education-ese for compliments, successfully doing something, good grades, admiration, swishing the ball through the net, etc). I think that's true; success breeds success and confidence. I know the areas where I feel confident bordering on cocky and they are the places I've been praised in or have been successful. Yet, how do you explain the phenomenon of some people who have confidence regardless? And what about those people in our lives who break your heart because no matter how many times you tell them, sincerely, that they are great, that they are beautiful and able, still will never believe you, no matter how much positive reinforcement you give them? Something tells me there's more to this confidence-stuff.

This is funny--Scott was telling me a few weeks ago that American students are out-performed by many many countries in the world. But in one area, American students top the charts. Guess what it is? Confidence. Even with not that much to be confident about in their schoolwork, Americans are confident. Confidence surrounds some people like a golden glow. It attracts people to them. That's because confidence is contagious and attractive. Confidence can also save you from having other people exercise their wills over you, keep you working and trying and most important for my students learning language, it keeps you taking risks, not being afraid to make mistakes Positive self-image in one of the leading indicators of success in school, according to one of my education professors. But this kind of confidence seems to be the kind that can be easily lost. Where does the steady-as-she-goes-confidence come from so that mistakes, disappointments or fading good looks can't remove? Are only beautiful, super-talented people entitled to this confidence? What about the self-respect of loving yourself warts and all? How do you teach that? How do you learn it? Aislin says that confidence is a step-child of faith and I think this is tied to knowing you are a child of God. Today, in my setting apart blessing (I'm now the YW 2nd counselor) Bishop counseled me to gain a testimony of the value of my soul because I would need to be able to teach the worth of their soul to the girls in our ward. If anyone has any thoughts on how this works, I would love to know.

I remember in my Education Psychology class talking about self-efficacy or the belief that you can do things. And we talked about how, in the language of statistics, "there is a higher incidence of high self-efficacy among males than females." It's not a huge difference in number but it's enough to be significant. As a teacher, you can see it. In the words of Elder Bednar when he visited our mission, "Generally speaking, sisters should worry less about their inadequacies and efforts and elders should worry more." High self-efficacy keeps you trying things, makes you confident and leads to success in many areas of life.the downsides are tendencies to be over-confident or blame everything else instead of admitting they have weaknesses or need to improve. For example, "I didn't make the team because coach hates me" or "I could've done it, I just didn't want to" or "I didn't do well because math/English/history/science is stupid." Oh. Naturally. Sometimes people with high self-efficacy are crushed and shaken when they don't do as well as they hoped. They can have a small identity crisis over it.

On the other end, low self-efficacy can lead you to take constructive criticism, take responsibility to improve and ask for help. But, on the downside, people with low self-efficacy constantly fish for compliments and rarely believe them. They feel like their efforts and the success in their life is shadowed by some kind of inescapable doom. Some examples can be a girl who is never satisfied no matter how weight she loses or a student needing the teacher to hold their hand through every part of the writing process or math equation. They don't believe they have the capacity to do things themselves. If you see tendencies for both of these types in you, you're probably a normal human being.

I remember one guy in the EdPsych class raised his hand and said. "That's true. Look at the difference in the General Relief Society and General Priesthood meetings. I think priesthood meeting involves a lot of calls to action and areas to improve, while the relief society meeting often has themes of recognizing the divine within you, feeling the love of God, etc. This doesn't mean, necessarily that men have to improve and women don't. It's just the method of helping us improve that is different. I thought he was pretty insightful.

It’s almost summer break

Finals are over! I'm also mostly done with the piles of grading. Our finals for the listening/speaking classes were interviews which are so fun. It's nice to get my students one-on-one. They are awfully lovable. I'm really ready for my 12 days of summer break though. The last few days have been cool with more monsoon rains. I can't decide if this is a blessing or not. I went out running one night around the school track and it started pouring. That was fine with me: It was hot and I like running in the rain until I realized that my eyes were stinging and burning so much that I almost couldn't see. I came home and Yvonne told me she wouldn't run in the rain because it's acid rain form the pollution. It is hard on your skin. That's really unfortunate.

I realize I never took a moment to describe the people I work with. We sit in a small room with ten large desks placed side to side. I've said a lot about Yvonne and Scott, but I sit next to a teacher named Andy. I don't know him very well because our schedules don't coincide often, but he is a pleasant person who offered his help if I ever needed it. He lives in our building. His girlfriend, Emily, lives with him and is taking the missionary lessons but not very seriously. I've called her up a couple of times to go to church with me, but she always said no. Both she and Andy speak good English. They come from wealthy families in Shanghai and both stand to inherit the business. They are here to just experience what it is like to have a real job and be a teacher. These people prize accomplishment above most things so to contribute to the world and be a teacher (a highly respected role here), is just a step on their path. Emily is fairly unhappy here. She was living in Australia and doesn't get along with the coarse/rude-but-friendly neighbors. She is perceived as being kind of stuck up.

Next to Andy in the office is Chuck, the computer guru. He is really nice and a lot of fun. He dresses like he is 20 but I think he is in his late thirties. His English is pretty limited but I've asked for help on more than one occasion. He will do anything for you if you have a computer question. His wife is an English teacher at the school. They met through gaming. Both of them are avid and advanced video game experts. He gave me a giant mango last week and I'm inclined to like him forever for it.

Across from him sits Julie, the assistant volleyball coach. She attended BYU-Hawaii and her English is very good. She is easy to be with and a good friend. Lots of personal integrity. I think she is thinking about a mission. Then we have Mike and Mark who share a desk because they are part time. Both of them work at different cram schools. They don't get along very well but they are nice enough people. Mark is Canadian and hard to get to know. I rarely see him. He is a permanent fixture with a family here and a good handle on Chinese. He is a member I think. Mike is British. He is quite a talker, too, but I like him. He has been in Asia for twenty years. He is quite a musician and has his own blues band. He always wears all black so the kids have a nickname for him: 007. Then there is Freddy. He also has a wealthy family from Shanghai but his parents sent him away to be raised by expensive boarding schools and in America. He joined the church, attended BYU and fell in love there with a girl from Taiwan when he was 19 and was married without his parents' consent. They cut him off from family support and so he works here and at two other cram schools to raise money from school and support his wife and toddler. He has a really good heart, as Mike says,--he is very kind and the kids love him. He is returning to BYU in August and so we have someone new.

Yesterday I went to Cijin Island with Michelle and Evangeline, two SAs who invited me along. It's about an hour and half and it was gray and humid which kind of put a sizable damper on things. It was really cool, though. We rode tandem bikes around the island, ate food, took a ferry, went to the former British consulate and walked up to the Kaohsiung lighthouse. It was really beautiful and this is a story that needs to be told in pictures, so I'll get those up as soon as I can. On the island there is an old fort that's a few hundred years old. Taiwan used to be a major strategy point for Asian and it has belonged to the Japanese, British, Chinese and others. The island is full of secret caves and passageways which in the thick tangled jungle look like a prime location for a ninja lair. The island has beautiful jungle and giant butterflies and moths. As the afternoon wore on, we went to the black-sand beach and stood with our feet in the waves. I could have stood there all day letting the water wash over and around my feet. My language barrier combined with the humidity stifled conversation, but it was a really good day. Living near the ocean is wonderful. I think if I could hear that wave-sound in my room, I would sleep with no problems.

That night I went home and continued my reading. I'm in 1 Nephi 17 now where Lehi's family reaches the ocean. It says they rejoiced exceedingly to get there. I wondered a little about that. Were they happy because this was their goal and they accomplished it? Did they think they had reached their promised land and they wouldn't have to travel anymore? Or is it just that the sight of the ocean is enough to fill a person with wonder? Maybe they were just glad they couldn't travel anymore even if they wanted to. I also think that their ocean voyage may have been a very different type of test than traveling on land. On land, obtaining food, traveling, could have seemed like their own efforts and endurance. Nephi saw that the Lord made them strong, used the Liahona to bring them to the most fertile parts, and helped them to be able to eat raw meat, etc., but nothing is like putting yourself in the hands of God like going out in a boat and the wide ocean. On the sea, they were steered by the Lord but there was little else they could do but sit and wait for a sight of land. In this period of idleness, the test was in how we wait, in how to be still and know God. Laman and Lemuel and company sunk into coarseness, drunkenness and "exceeding rudeness" which the reader can only imagine. This is a test for people--and for me. I don't think I have a big tendency to "exceeding rudeness" but how will I use this time by the seashore. My life is uncomplicated. It represents a rest but I must be making tools for the rest of my life which will be a ship of curious workmanship. Like I said before, I can't see the twists and turns of life or predict the future, but as time goes on, I'm going to have to counsel with the Lord about what comes next and I'm starting to realize that how we acquire language is something I need to understand. Maybe that's what I'll do when I get back. Keep studying. However, many of the tools I pick up here will not be 'professional' ones or even what I thought was practical. It's funny how having a real job changes what you thought was important.

Going to the temple and other thoughts and news

Last Saturday we went to the Taipei temple as a stake so I woke up at 3:30 AM and was gone until late that night. It had been rainy and the air conditioning on the bus was very cold. When I woke up on Sunday morning, I had a fever and a bad cold. I slept most of the day and Sister Huang brought me chicken and bamboo root soup. In fact, for most of this week, when I haven't been at school, the sickness combined with heat has had me sleeping most of the days. I've never had a cold in heat and humidity before. It's kind of like breathing Jello. That's probably too much information. Sorry. Monday, I hadn't had the energy to get up and walk to the store so I feasted on a mango the size of a football for two meals. I tried to finish it before it finished me. Finally I put the last bit of it in a blender with the rest of my milk. This was an inspired idea. It's mango season and I am enjoying it--cheap, wonderful tropical fruit. Another wonderful idea: Chop up a lot of watermelon and feed it into the blender with a little bit of sugar and ice--heaven.

You can see that even with my best intentions to live better, I still eat like a refugee--whatever I can get, whenever I can get it, eating in strange places with my fingers if necessary. My life won't always be like this, right? However, I'm doing better with my resolve to take better care of myself. Those last few semesters of school I had a hard time eating writing, taking time in the morning with myself, etc. I was clean, but not terribly healthy or alert. I bought a blow dryer and invested in hair products and I'm figuring this long hair-in-the-heat-and-humidity-thing it out. I'm also exercising and taking calcium according to Master Huang's suggestions. I'm also doing better at getting up in the morning. My goal is 5:30. I'm still working on it. I want to be a morning scripture reader, too, after years as a night-time reader. I think God talks to me best in the mornings. I wish I was like the boy-prophet Samuel and when I hear the whisperings of the Spirit in the morning, I want to be able to answer, "Speak Lord, thy servant heareth," but I think I'm far too likely to groan and roll over and go back to sleep. It helps that most of the people around me are early risers. That is the only time it is cool enough to go outside. I went up to the accounting office last week and found ever office worker with their heads down on their desk fast asleep in the midday heat. It is starting to get really miserable.

There is little rest for the weary: I have just 12 days after this semester ends on the 30th before I begin a summer semester writing class. They are first-year high school students which is a challenge because communicating directions and grading criteria is hit-and-miss at best. Any suggestions? I also have a lot of ideas I need to organize for next semester.

Some more about my students: I've talked about the system but less about the individual personalities that make up my classroom and brighten my life. I've told you about the system and the ideal studious pupil, but the fact of the matter is that kids are kids. There are many similarities between my American students and my Taiwanese students. They get tired, they watch the clock and can't wait to get home, getting them to write can be like pulling teeth, etc. My Thursday class is the worst. I tell them that to review for the final, they need to choose one of the units form the book and write a comic. So, of course, if they're doing "Asking for directions," their characters ask how do I get to hell? (Actually, I would have given bonus points if they had a quality answer for that one, but the answer was garbled English), They write about extra-marital affairs and drinking, (things they really haven't any experience with- - they are at school all the time and the school's rules are extremely strict: no dating, alcohol, etc.) We had another talk on what is appropriate in the classroom, what's appropriate to ask a foreigner. *Sigh*

They are really wonderful, though. I enjoy reading what they write. As a final writing assignment, one of my classes was given the topic of "What is your definition of a good student?" by their former teacher. I read their essays and they wrote pretty eloquently about the frustrations of parent and teacher expectations, they also discussed how grades were not enough and courtesy and being a good person are part of a real education (as per Confucius). A girl named Sony, the best writer in that class, wrote about how she disagreed with the system here (her mother is Brazilian). She said that instead of producing "good students" Taiwanese teachers and parents are more interested in producing "good little robot machines." She called on her fellow-students to dare to disagree with the teacher, to question, to make the classroom a dialogue. She is the only one of my students who does that and in that way, she is a student after my own heart.

One thing about my teaching philosophy that I think is kind of unique is that I think student hecklers are important to the life of the classroom. They make the other students wake up and watch the teacher and student interact. If you can get attention, oh, if you can get their attention, what can't you do! They make me wake up too and defend my teaching with a grin. I have a few students like this. Louis, for example, brightens my day. Even when he is slowing things down and giving me grief and I find myself saying, "You're killing me Louis, you're killing me!" I say it with a grin. It's the students who are disruptive among themselves but refuse to interact with me, give me non-responses and are sullen, who are a problem. Give me effort! Even if it's the effort to defy me! and life in the classroom gets so much better. Nothing is more smothering to teachers and students than apathy.

I've learned something, too, about balance in life. I find that play is essential to my work. If I don't get out and play on the weekends/evenings, my work suffers. I think I can work through a weekend but I can't. Even "resting" isn't very helpful. Only playing hard helps me in working hard. I tell myself that the last year in school I was doing what I had to, and I was, but I missed something important. I stopped taking classes that weren't related to my major, I stopped voice lessons and going to dances or doing theatre. I told myself I didn't have the time, energy or money for those things. Maybe this was true, but just vegging (sp?) in front of a movie or lying around when I was exhausted, didn't really help. Here, doing other things, working with my hands like taking calligraphy, is so relaxing. Something about- those characters is so calming when I'm stressed, so aesthetic. I can't be Ms. Powell 24/7. Sometimes I have to be just Erica.

Speaking of being just Erica, I'm acting younger and younger. I think part of it is the language. I can't express myself as an adult so I think I act like a kid. Jessica and I play with bubble guns and nearly get kicked out of calligraphy class because we're always chatting it up and playing around. A couple days ago I was spending hours grading papers in the office when my red pen broke all over my hand. I pretended like I'd sliced open my hand and stared at the dark red ooze on my fingers, then called for help. Steve, Director of International Affairs, stared, the phone receiver in his hand in mid conversation. Scott and Yvonne ran from both ends of the office in rescue mode. That's when I started cackling. It's nice to know you're loved.

I live from tender mercy to tender mercy. Aislin reminded me of Elder Holland talking about angels. I believe they are near me. I get to feeling down, feeling that a year is long or that life is getting away from me. There are times when it is hard not to envy extroverts. As an introvert, i pull into myself when I'm struggling. It's so much easier to avoid people. Being in a crowd of strangers is exhausting. It's a constant temptation to just hole up in my room or to seek comfort in a book, computer, etc. Luckily, I'm never allowed to be alone. There are people that elbow themselves into my life and keep me out among people. Tuesday was a hard day and then Wednesday dawned. I was tired and sick and discouraged. It was the dragon boat festival here.

The story goes like this. Once a Chinese ruler and a statesman and poet disagreed on their vision for their country. The poet wrote about it and the ruler was displeased with his poem. I'm sure there's more to it than this, but the poet threw himself into the river. This man was beloved by the people and so every year on the anniversary of his death they throw moon cakes into the river so the fish will eat the cakes and not the body of the poet. They also have row boats that are painted like dragons which they race. The paddles are supposed to scare away the fish. I don't know why this makes me smile.

Michelle Liang, a new convert, SA and progressing English speaker invited me to go. She is shy and sometimes avoids me because of the pressure of speaking in English to me, though her English is surprisingly good. I was starting to give up seeking her out because I felt like my presence was so painful to her. We took the metro to the Love River, each bank of which was covered with people. As we talked and wandered through the stalls of food and listened to the live bands and watched the boat races, I was filled with gratitude. As it began to get dark and as the dragon boats and the bridges started being lit up with colored lights, Michelle said, "You are lucky to be here. If you weren't here now, you would have to wait a year to see it." Those words, "You are lucky to be here" resonated with me. I was lucky. Lucky to be a part of life and things happening. Life wasn't passing me by because I was here. No one does pomp and night-time grandeur like Asians and the experience lifted my heart. At the end of the day, Michelle and I were fast friends and comfortable with each other. As I studied scriptures that night, I was so happy and my scripture study improved. I need people. I learned this lesson long ago, but needed reminded. Being a tourist, seeing beautiful things and having experiences is hollow without people in your life. People are life.

Speaking of which, how many temple workers does it take to get one foreigner through a session at the temple? The answer is at least ten. At first I was a little bothered to be such a hassle and a burden and it hurts my pride to be so lost and dependent (I know that in the ward Bishop Huang has been assigning people to get me more involved. I chafe a little at being an assignment for busy people) but by the end I was grateful. It's important to be humble enough to be a gracious burden, to let people serve you. Mom reminded me how the temple is about the individual. If not, we'd just read out five names during a baptism and dunk them all. Being in the temple and doing Chinese names was important for me. I felt close to them and started to see the gap get smaller between Them and Me. I also had a horrible time pronouncing their ancestor's names. I've never had that problem before. This was good for me. The Taipei temple is the cutest little temple, and it's full of the coolest dark inlaid furniture.

A Tribute to Fathers

Father's day is coming. My Grandpa Powell says it's prejudiced that missionaries can call home on Mother's Day but not on Father's Day. I'm glad I call this year from around the globe. Lately, things I've been reading and things that friends have shared with me, combined with the holiday, have been on my mind. Right now I feel like I owe a tribute to the important men in my life.

According to the Family Proclamation, gender is eternal. It goes beyond our physical selves, beyond the time or circumstances of birth. I think of Adam, the prototype man, who left paradise for Eve's sake and to be the protector and father of the human family. After the Savior and Joseph Smith, I think he must be the greatest hero in human history and a type of Christ. This proves that before there were cars or electronics or organized sports or cologne, there were men. While sports and other pursuits may be important to a man, it does not define who he is. In a world where ideals of manhood are associated with trash talking and physical prowess or other shallow elements, I think we must look to the Savior, in whose image every man was made. When Pilate introduced him to the crowd just before they crucified him, he announced, "Behold the man!" Truer words were never spoken and here is a man who could weep, a man who was gentle, a man of sacrifice and duty to God. Even in his anger, he exercised such great control as when he cleansed the temple, but careful not to hurt the doves being sold, handed the cages to their owners with a terse "Take these hence."

With this in mind, I can't understand how certain cultures represent manhood--fathers who never say I love you because it wouldn't be manly or somehow associating male-ness with being a jerk, acting like a tyrant, etc. Our own culture is at fault, too. As television sitcoms are filled with fathers who are characterized as buffoons for the wife and kids to practice their sarcasm on--the Homer Simpsons and others who tell the world that men are lazy and incapable, I don't buy it. I reject every suggestion I've ever heard that somehow you just can't expect much from guys. I don't think the Lord placed significant eternal responsibilities and power where he did not think it could be managed and magnified. Think of Joseph Smith! A man's man in so many ways of whom we sing "Praise to the man!" He was a man who could do household chores, think of others, laugh, play hard and work hard. I really think that if he, say, drove a minivan, that his masculinity would be intact.

And so I'm glad that my life is filled with a long long list of wonderful men: Father, brother-in-law, teachers, priesthood leaders, bishops (I'm so glad I can add Bishop Huang to that list), a mission president, prophets, apostles, and friends. I'm glad that in the church we recognize the sacrifice that women make to be mothers, to spend their time, energy and talents in being a homemaker, but I think that there is also an Adam-like sacrifice performed by fathers who give up some freedom to be providers. My brother-in-law, who studies fatherhood for a living, would say that it is 100% worth it. He could also give you better support than I for the fact that a father contributes far more than genetic material to his children.

I remember driving somewhere with my mom. I was a college freshman and was starting to appreciate life as I had known it. I said, "Thanks, Mom, for marrying Dad." She smiled smugly and said, "Yeah, I did good, huh." This most important man in my life, so far, my father, spent much of his time and energy in keeping the wolf from the door and taking care of me and my sisters. He's downright heroic and he so seldom thinks of himself, buys toys for himself, etc., that it is a real pleasure to watch him sit and enjoy things:humor, food, music (especially if its the music me and my sisters make, etc.). We always knew that we were #1 on his priority list, no question. When he came home from work, we knew that he was all ours to play with us, jump ont he trampoline with us and yes, to make us work in the garden. He helped around the house, picking up a broom to sweep the kitchen without thinking about it at all. We giggled at night when at the end of a day, we could hear him howling in joy or frustration over a basketball game and we'd delegate one of us to play the outraged 7-year old in a night gown. (Dad! We're trying to suh-leep!) But we loved him so much. He used to read to us at night: one chapter of the Book of Mormon and one chapter of one of his favorite adventure books from when he was a boy. --The Hobbit, Treasure Island, Robin Hood, Tom Sawyer, etc., with his head propped up against the wall near the light and the rest of him stretched out in the hall between our bedrooms.

I'm so proud of the fact that my dad instigates Family Home Evening, family prayers, family scripture study. I love to get a blessing under his hands. I can remember learning about repentance, God's plan and church service in quiet spontaneous moments. During Priesthood session, we always loved to have girl's night with the 6 of us, but the best part of the evening was having dad come home, sitting him down with some kind of dessert and having him tell us what the speakers talked about. My dad is a great story-teller but I think the best part was hearing in his voice how he felt about the gospel, the prophets, and his faith. Does it sound too ideal? Well, that's the kind of dad I have. He's the kind that holds you tight right before you get on a plane to leave the country for a year and whispers fervently, "I love you." He's always shown me he did in a million ways.

My dad is the best person to have sit by your hospital bed. He radiates unfailing steadiness. I remember his face, though, when he thought I was suffering. He would have traded places with me in a moment and said so. I remember as a teenager once worrying about my role, struggling to understand how a young woman fit into the gospel and feeling like I wasn't finding nearly enough women's voices in the scriptures. I thought of my dad and the way he felt about me--he thought I could do anything, wanted everything for me, and that's how I visualized what a heavenly father felt for me. I was filled confidence and when I encounter doubts, that memory stays with me.

It's been so thrilling to grow up and have my dad talk to me like he would to another adult, to counsel with me, comfort me, and encourage. One of the most bracing parts of my coming out here was to have my dad tell me he is excited for me and proud of me and that he feels it's the right thing to do. Before my mission he let me read his mission letters and journal. It was fun to hear about things through my father's 19-year old voice and know he felt the same things I did. That he was discouraged or felt inadequate or needed to know how much Heavenly Father loved him and also to feel his faith, know that he decided to become something for the rest of his life, see his creativity and desire. As a missionary I wondered when I told other people that God was a father, if the words would mean the same thing to them as it did to me, knowing that many of them did not have the same kind of father in their life.

I think that if Abraham, whose father wanted to kill him, could still have fatih and confidence and the desire to be a father of millions, that everyone must have some kind of pre-earth concept of what a father really is.

My nephew William Kerry Dyer was blessed the Sunday before I left. He was blessed to be an example of true Christ-like manhood and thinking about him, named for my sister's husband (also a prince among men) and his grandpa, I can't think of better examples for him to learn from. I could continue about so many of the men in my life. None of them are perfect, but oh, how much I've needed them.

Protectors, priesthood holders, and friends: I love you. Happy Father's Day.

Asian Thinker: Confucius

Round about the 2nd century B.C., a famous thinker and teacher appeared in China who influenced Eastern thought in a profound way and for many centuries. His name is a prime example of how Westerners slaughter Asian words (the word 'karaoke' comes to mind). In Chinese it is closer to Kong Fuzi, which means Master Kong. Like other famous teachers (Socrates, the Savior) his words come to us not through his own writing but through disciples who enthusiastically quoted him in a collection of writings called the Analects. Preach My Gospel lists him with those who had great light during the apostasy. Confucius believed he was on a mission from heaven, though he never claimed to be a prophet or more than a man. Look through the lens of the gospel as you read this.

Confucius taught that virtue, behaving morally, was the foundation for intelligence and learning and also for leadership. His teachings centered on ren or compassion and the idea of not doing to anyone else what you would not have done to you. "Confucius' political philosophy is also rooted in his belief that a ruler should learn self-discipline, should govern his subjects by his own example, and should treat them with love and concern. 'If the people be led by laws, and uniformity among them be sought by punishments, they will try to escape punishment and have no sense of shame. If they are led by virtue, and uniformity sought among them through the practice of ritual propriety, they will possess a sense of shame and come to you of their own accord.'" (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy). Isn't that how hoards of people saw royalty in the Savior? He didn't need to campaign for it or demand it. Isn't it right somehow, that God is good and not only the wisest and most powerful being? There is a kind of reassurance in that.

Confucius taught his countrymen that study means finding a good teacher and imitating his words and deeds. Confucius' teachings involved small anecdotes or pithy sayings from his life that the learner could compare to his own life, then ask him or herself if what he or she would have done would line up with Master Kong's action in a similar situation. (What's Chinese for "What would Jesus do?") Confucius teachings were not based on abstract principles from a distant and unknown deity. He and his followers did believe in heaven as a place where honorable people went, but they needed examples of goodness close to home. How profound that the Lord would come to earth and not just tell us from afar what we must do, but live with men and women and show us.

Part of the core of Confucian philosophy is the importance of long and careful 'Study' which is the watch cry of Asians everywhere. As a teacher Confucius did not choose his learners by rank, nor did he take on just anyone. His teaching style was as follows: "He poses questions, cites passages from the classics, or uses apt analogies, and waits for his students to arrive at the right answers." He is reported to have said, "I only instruct the eager and enlighten the fervent. If I hold up one corner and a student cannot come back to me with the other three, I do not go on with the lesson." Confucius' teachings also explain why teachers are so respected in Asia. A true education involves a moral education to ensure that the educated one behaves responsibly and humanely. These are ideals and though the Chinese government held this philosophy for years, I'm sure it's always been difficult to maintain a high level of virtue though generations of political leaders. The People's Republic of China rose against this old government which took its Confucian ideals to Taiwan.

Some well-known Confucian quotes:

"To know your faults and be able to change is the greatest virtue."

知錯能改，善莫大焉

"What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others."

己所不欲，勿施於人。

"With coarse rice to eat, with water to drink, and my crooked arm for a pillow - is not joy to be found therein? Riches and honors acquired through unrighteousness are to me as the floating clouds."

疏食飲水，曲肱而枕，樂在其中矣。不義而富貴，於我如浮雲。

"Knowledge is recognizing what you know and what you don't."

知之為知之，不知為不知，是知也.

"Reviewing the day's lessons. Isn't it joyful? Friends come from far. Isn't it delightful? One has never been angry at other's misunderstanding. Isn't he a respectable man?"

學而時習之，不亦說乎？有朋自遠方來，不亦樂乎?人不知而不慍，不亦君子乎？

The last quote was chanted by the numerous drummers in the Opening Ceremony of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China.(Wikipedia: Confucious)

The following two pictures are the entrance to the school, a traditional entrance for any school. The characters mean, Gate of Courtesy and Road of Righteousness:

First 3 weeks as a teacher

It's another stormy summer Sunday. In a few hours I have to get myself to my friend Josh Win's home and also to church. They are building a new church in Daliao, thank heavens, and in a month I won't have to go into the big city, though I'm starting to kind of enjoy the ride. I love Sundays.

At long last, I need to tell you about my students. I spend most of my waking hours with them or planning for them, so it really is strange I haven't written about them yet. in many ways they are similar to American teenagers. They work hard and so much is expected of them. I was thinking about the educational crisis in America and the economic crisis that layed off hundreds of teachers this past year. What if American schools had the same expectations for teachers and students that they have here? Every morning the students arrive at 7:30 and promptly take up their assignments to clean the school. There are no janitors—the students are responsible to clean their own school, sweeping leaves, scrubbing bathrooms, preparing for lunch, directing traffic, etc. In my classroom, when I am done with the chalkboard, a student jumps up to erase it, they fetch and carry things from my office and take care of turning on and off the lights, air conditioning, etc. Nobody gripes about this, these aren't jobs for punishment like in American schools where cleaning erasers or scrubbing desks is only your job if you misbehave.

The teachers change classrooms here, instead of the students. When I come in they make sure the roll is taken and a class leader tells me where I need to go, writes out notes for me to sign to send someone to the office if they are sick, and gives me feedback after the lesson. If my pen brakes, they haste to get me a knew one adn take things like DVD players and electric fans out of my arms to carry them. This is standard procedure for students and teachers. I honestly have been helped by my students more than anyone else. Imagine that as a teacher--we talk so much about teachers facilitating learning, but we never think of the power in students facilitating teaching. In theory, this is their classroom, their education and I enter it as an honored guest.(It's not always that ideal-these are regular kids after all) Going to school is a privilege that you pay a high tuition for and that you must take responsibility for. I'm not saying that we shouldn't offer free public school, but it made me think again about the American sense of entitlement that has crept into our society and how it keeps us from being responsible for owning our own success.

Here's a spare thought--I'll share because I don't know what else to do with it: I had one set of students in my writing class write me a letter from ten years in the future because they had been talking about their futures in the listening and speaking classes. As I was giving this assignment, which wasn't a bad one for being authentic and easy to understand, etc, I couldn't help wondering if this was the kind of assignment I would hate at their age. I remember when I was tutoring Riki Fukuyasu with a similar assignment--he had to research his future plans, but even in Japanese he couldn't have articulated what they were, or had much interest in them. Perhaps this is the way it is meant to be. He just chose a random future that he didn't really see happening and tried to say what he thought the teacher wanted from him. We're meant to be where we're at, I think. It made me laugh thinking about having to predict this my future if I had been in my student's shoes at 16. So little of what I have done was planned by me. I just took little steps in the dark, reaching after things I liked or abilities I had, but it's the sort of thing I could never have guessed at at 17 and only could look over my shoulder and see it unrolled behind me in a wonderful way but I think I can still only see it unrolled just inches in front of me. Caitlyn, I'm sure you can relate. If I had been in their place I would have picked something that I thought would satisfy the teacher, something that seemed bearable for a future job, plugged in some random number for ages when I'd do things, added in a family with no faces, and not really believed in it. I was writing my letter to the students while they wrote in their notebooks to me and I found myself thinking about this again--what did I want in ten years. Could I write that letter better now? I'm definitely feeling more ready for my future than I did as a teenager. Brother Paul, thanks for keeping tabs on me. I'd be very interested to know what's in my future career when you are free to tell me the details.

School is only mandatory through Junior High here. After that students go on to private high schools that are more like junior colleges. Our school enrolls 10,000 students and many of them come from all over the country and board in the same apartment complex I live in by themselves. The high school is also an industrial/ vocational school. These groups take classes in motorcycle and scooter maintenance, mechanics auto repair, fashion, hairstyling, restaurant management, and cooking. These students come for three months, go out as interns to earn money for their families (yes, many of them have to support their families) go back for three months, go out again etc. Then there are regular high school students and then a branch of English honors students who are trying to master English for translation purposes or to attend college in the states.

The students have long long hours of class and homework. They also do a lot of marching and chanting and though corporal punishment isn't allowed, teachers can still punish a student with doing pushups. They participate in drama competitions often, which means hours of memorizing and practicing their English lines. Yesterday was the national storytelling competition in Yuning, and I spent a lot of time with the groups competing to help them with their pronunciation and accent. One group won first place. I was so happy for them. I do think that the work load is unreasonable here. After a certain amount of time, the brain shuts down. It's documented. Furthermore, they confuse teaching with telling and learning with memorizing in Asian culture. I disagree with this practice. Asian students also have their own variety of difficultness when it comes to classroom management. More on that later.

It is surprisingly informal here. All the students call me and all their teachers by their first names. They add me on Facebook and invite me to go to night markets or the mall. I could never do it in America. It's really nice, though. They do something for me. They help me forget myself, they give me energy, and when they serve me I have a red-hot desire to be a better teacher. I still feel like a Bean in this role.

All my students have an English name. Most of them do pretty well with choosing pretty normal names. The most popular for girls are Cindy, Angel, Violet and Rita. Most popular for boys: Allen, Jason and Kevin. I do have girls named Pudding, Heaven, Seven and Echo, though, and there is a sweet guy in the office who goes by Panda. Sometimes the boys names they choose are really old fashioned like Augustine, Charles, Henry and Bartholomew. I have to have a Chinese name to for all records and my nametag, etc. I'm Bao Ai Li (That's a high neutral tone with two downward tones. One day I'll be able to say it right)

My first few weeks here have been like being in a zoo. As I was riding an elevator, I would hear whispers of "I wanna see" and then I'd have students peeking in at me. I walk past a group of junior high students and they all start giggling. It feels really odd to be a celebrity just because I'm white. My first year class started fingering my hair as we stood in a group while I tried to give them directions. A couple of the girls in one class asked if they could hug me and then were hysterical afterward. I smile and wave and tell them that I think they are beautiful and for the most part the hype has died down. However, the most awkward moment of all happened with my one class full of vocational students: I told them that they could ask me questions as long as I could ask them that same question back to get to know each other and practice their English. I thought this would help me know their level. When the bell rang, I practically had to run out of their class while they shouted "Wait, wait, wait!" They chased me and cornered me on the 7th floor balcony. I wanted to jump off of it. They were out of control, shouting:

"You have beautiful nose!"

"How much do you weigh?"

"I'm in love with you! Do you love me?"

"Do you have a boyfriend? Can I be your boyfriend?"

"You are sexy and kind! I'll tell anyone who ask me."

So much for Asian students being reserved and polite. But they are for the most part which is why this class was so surprising. Their very mature. I only wonder if they ever have a chance for a childhood. I think after then can walk they never get hugged or shown that much affection, though the parents certainly love their children and do all they can for them. I could go on and on about my students. I'll probably ask for advice from everyone I can, too, because a lot of you have experience with teaching, parenting, and teaching English to Asians. I'll need it.

Tai chi is going pretty well except I'm really horizontally challenged. It's not so much my height as it is my body to leg ratio. I just wasn't meant to be a crouching tiger. I'll just have to be a sweaty crane.

Yvonne continues to be one of my favorite people. She goes to Tainan every Friday night and stays until Monday morning so my weekends get kind of lonely. Here are some quotes from her from the past few weeks:

• When I crashed: "Don't feel bad. Life sucks sometimes."
  
• To a cockroach on the kitchen ceiling: "Look at you, you're getting so big. I'm starting to feel attached to them after watching them grow since they were small."
  
• And "Any problem you can solve with money, that is a small problem."